True Confessions Of a Used-to-Be Kale Hater

It’s true confession time: I used to loathe kale.  Utterly despise it.  I hated everything about it (except maybe the fact that it looked really pretty sitting in my shopping basket).  I hated the coarse, rough texture, I hated the stringy-ness once you started chewing, HATED how it got wilty and somehow even chewier after a day in the fridge.  And I definitely hated putting it in smoothies where allegedly the taste was disguised, but the damn texture still.hung.on. Little kale flakes floating around in the smoothie (and then subsequently in my teeth) was the WORST.

But then I became vegan.  And then I had a short-lived stint where I resided in Los Angeles, as a vegan. And they eat a LOT of kale in L.A.  And they have a lot of really interesting ways to eat the kale, buy the kale, dress up the kale, love the kale.  So slowly, without even realizing it was happening, I became one of THOSE people.  A person who loves kale.  In everything.  With everything.  Everything about this cantankerous, cruciferous vegetable became wildly appealing to me.  I admit, I got brainwashed, but I really think it was one of the best things to ever happen to me.

Kale is a pretty popular veggie right now, but it’s earned its rep well.  It’s among one of the most nutrient dense vegetables on the planet, high in antioxidants, fiber and iron (which is great if you’re vegan or vegetarian).  It has anti-inflammatory properties, is full of all the good vitamins and…drumroll…it’s great for detoxing!!  (Ahem, thanks to all that fiber mentioned earlier.)

So while I was living in L.A. and buying into this whole “kale is yummy” theology, I concocted a salad that, I have to say, is pretty damn fantastic.  My vegan and burger-loving friends alike raved over it, and (even though I hate saying this, because salad is hardly ever the whole meal in itself in my world) it really does eat like a meal.  The almond butter based dressing gives the right amount of fat, and the warm, crunchy texture from the pepitas and sunflower seeds gives a great mouth feel that won’t leave you lacking in the satisfaction department.  So go ahead…lunch, dinner, hell, I’ve even had this baby for breakfast.  It’s your new go-to, quick-and-easy, super-deliciously-healthy meal.

Crunchy Kale Salad with Almond Butter Dressing

Ingredients:

• One bunch of kale
• 1/4 c. each of raw pepitas (pumpkin seeds) and sunflower seeds
• 3 tblspns. almond butter (if you are serious about the cleanse, either make your own or be sure that almonds are literally the only ingredient in the butter)
• 1/4 c. olive oil
• 2 tblspns. balsamic vinegar (or more to taste)
• 1/4 – 1/2 tsp. maple syrup (to taste…again, if you are doing absolutely no sugar on your cleanse, ditch the maple syrup)
• 1-3 tblspns. water (this depends on your desired consistency for the dressing – I like mine thicker, so I usually use 1.5 tblspns. water here.  If you like it thinner, add more water!)
• Salt to taste

In a medium-sized mixing bowl, add together salad dressing ingredients, in order of how they are listed above, whisking between each addition until ingredients are fully blended.  You may have to play with the taste a little bit – if you like it more acidic, add more balsamic.  If you want it a little sweeter, more maple syrup.  (Go easy on both though if you are playing with the measurements – they are VERY easy to overdo.  #learnedthatthehardway)  When you add the water in, go slowly, 1 tablespoon at a time.  As I said, I like my dressing to have a thicker consistency, so I use less water.  **I usually salt the kale itself and leave the salt out of the dressing.

Wash the kale and soak up excess water with a paper towel.  Shred it into bite-sized pieces (I usually just use my hands to tear it, but I suppose a knife is a perfectly civilized option as well!)  Place the kale in a medium-sized mixing bowl (that isn’t the dressing bowl), add some salt to taste, then slowly pour the dressing on the kale.  Once the dressing is covering the kale, massage it in gently with your hands until all the kale pieces are evenly covered.  Let the kale marinate up to half an hour like this.  (You really gotta butter the kale up before you take it to dinner, if you know what I mean.)

Once the kale is marinating, heat a small frying pan on high heat and add the pepitas and sunflower seeds.  Reduce the heat to medium-low and slowly roast the seeds until fragrant and a little crispy.  (You will actually hear some of them pop; you’re done when this happens!)  Pour the still-warm seeds into the salad when you’re ready to eat and viola!  Get ready to have a serious love affair with your salad.

**Serves 1-2, depending on whether you’re making it a meal or a side dish.  As always, feel free to substitute different nut butters for the almond (cashew works great too!) and different nuts and seeds in place of the pepitas and sunflower seeds.  Enjoy!